Sunday, May 27, 2007

A Good Film? Surely You Chest...

I endured -- in much the same way one might endure a root canal sans novocaine -- Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest this evening. Yes, I know the rest of the world is talking about the third film, but I certainly didn't care enough for these to see them in a theatre or to buy a DVD; Susan decided to give it a try when it showed up on cable.

What a mistake.

This film manages to make the first film look good by comparison. Everyone is pretty much phoning in his/her performance (Keira Knightley at least shows some sort of acting skill in the final moments, actually communicating an emotional ambivalence that seemed surprisingly out of place in a film otherwise populated by characters who lacked sufficient depth to be classified as two-dimensional).

I don't like Johnny Depp, so there's no reason to comment on his performance; I'm a biased audience. Everyone else in the film, I like okay, so I had no grudges.

The first two and a half months of this film were slow and dreary... What's that? You say it was only two and a half hours long? That's can't be! Surely this pointless cinematic morass ran for at least a season, if not more!...

Obviously I'm in the minority here; lots of people were willing to spend real money for this. But then again, lots of people buy those meals-in-a-bowl thingies at Krystal and KFC, so what do they know?

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