Thursday, February 05, 2009

Happy Birthday, Charles!

My good friend Charles Rutledge is one year older today! (Well, he's actually only one day older, but since we tend to measure birthdays in years and not days with no rounding up, we'll stick with the former statement.) It's hard to believe that I've known Charles for almost half of my life; we first met back in 1982, shortly after I became co-owner of Dr. No's.

Those of you who know Charles realize what a remarkable man he is. If you don't know him, may you have that opportunity. Here are ten facts about Charles that even his friends may not know (but if you ask, he can tell you every one of these stories in great detail!):

(1) Charles once dispatched Thor with a single punch.
(2) If everyone who asked for Charles's help in moving were to repay the favor, he'd be able to relocate at least twelve times without ever lifting a box or a piece of furniture
(3) Charles was the originator of the theory of time displacement
(4) Charles is inhumanly fast at AutoCAD, much to the dismay of other draftsmen who might have jobs if Charles didn't finish all the work so quickly
(5) Charles once witnessed a Klingon weep because he had lost a claw, at which point Charles swore he would not go DragonCon ever again
(6) Charles is the Angel of Death
(7) Charles is never late. Except once. In Japan. And it wasn't his fault.
(8) Charles doesn't have a mobile phone. Well, except for the one that he has... but he's keeping it a secret so that no one calls him.
(9) One should never call Charles after 10:30 pm.
(10) Charles may claim to swear allegiance to Crom, but his friends know that Kirby is his real idol