Why Is It?...

...that scented candles always smell great in the store but never smell like anything when you put 'em out at home?

...that just when you think you've found the perfect pizza place, someone decides it's time to change the house recipe?

...that editors think it's a great idea to have the main character absent from his/her book for prolonged periods of time?

...that hardcover publishers like oddball prices such as $27 or $28? Just go to $29.99 and be done with it!

...that no matter what time you get to the post office during the day, the postal worker has just emptied the drop box and is walking back in as you pull up?

...that no matter how many times we leave the house and return during the day, Anna and Mischa think they're supposed to get a new can of food each time?

...that the best sleeping of all is that half-hour or so that you get when you tell yourself "I'm just going to lay here for five minutes after the alarm, and then I'm getting up"?

...that Starbucks only orders four pumpkin scones every day, even though they continually sell out of them by about 10 am?

...that 99% of the people who give you specific times and/or dates that they'll be coming by don't actually make it on those times/dates?

...that no matter how much we hear about the dire situations facing the auto industry, whenever I inquire about the vehicle, it's supposedly the one model that's doing so great that they're not discounting it?

...that, conversely, the vehicle I have to trade in is always the model for which there isn't much demand, so they can't offer me as much as they normally would?

...that, even though there's only one crooked fork in a silverware drawer that has 24 forks, I will inevitably pick it up every time I reach for a fork.

....that the fork is crooked, anyway? Uri Geller has never visited me...

...that most people will treat you with much more respect if you're wearing a blazer or a sport coat?

... that Target seems to routinely store their chocolate candy in a warehouse with an ambient temperature of about 93°, so that whenever I buy it it's always melted and resolidified into an amorphous mass?

...that ziploc backs turn out to have routinely failed to either zip or lock?

...that smokers assume that none of their smoke will stink up a building if they merely stand 18" away from the door as they indulge their addiction?

...that no matter how much time you put into making a list, you think of the perfect entry the minute you've shut the computer down?