Thursday, September 13, 2007

Missing Him

Today was one of those days when I missed Dad so much that I couldn't even focus on things I needed to do. It was cool this morning when I went walking--about 65 degrees--and my first instinct was to call Dad and celebrate the first truly cool morning of September. I knew as soon as I thought about it that I'd never enjoy that simple pleasure again, but that got the pattern going: for the rest of the day, I found myself reminded of Dad in songs, in conversations, in the multifold interactions of a routine day. I left the store early just so I could exercise and mope at home; I haven't felt very social for the past few weeks, but there are times when I feel absolutely alienated from everything going on around me...
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1 comment:

  1. Anonymous1:14 PM, September 23, 2007

    Reading your thoughts on missing your Dad strikes very close to home for me. Yesterday (Saturday) I was missing my Dad very much. Saturdays in September were for watching football with Dad. In fact, on the last Saturday of his life, that's was my sister and I did in the palliative care center with Dad. I don't know how much he was aware of the games but he did seem to respond when Auburn did something good and when they did something awful (which happened a lot that day). I told Dad that it was a good thing that he was unconscious because he would have had another stroke if he had seen how badly the team was playing. Yesterday, though, the house was silent, just me and the TV. I had a hollow empty feeling and I missed my Dad so much in that time. It was really hard to bear. Things went better for Auburn (and worse for Alabama...dang! where is the strikeover key!) and I wished I could have shared it with Dad.
    Thanks for being there for me, Cliff. It really gave me a lift to hear from you and to share our grief for our missing Dads.

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